Is this what burnout looks like to you? It is certainly how I have felt before…
This is actually a monk seal resting (they hunt at night) on the beach in Kauai, Hawaii. If I were to be burned out again, Kauai would be a nice place for it.
Sometimes I forget to remember we are energy and as energy beings, our lives consist of a series of never-ending waves, with peaks and troughs, just like the ocean. Every living creature experiences these highs and lows along with everything in between. To deny it is to deny life.
It’s when we get stuck in the bottom of the trough that our body, mind and spirit can begin to shut down. We settle deeper into the valley and find ourselves sinking through it alone, down toward the realm of despair and hopelessness. I’ve had some experience with this in my life. Many of us have. Opening is written for all of us.
It’s as if we become frozen in our thoughts and cannot fathom any possibility of ever finding a way back up, toward the light and air and life. We must hang on for the duration of the ride. It does get better. It has no choice. We do have a choice of how to react to the feeling when despair is seeping into our thoughts.
Melancholy, like all else, does not last forever. Everything is changing, always. Nothing stands still in nature. It’s just a temporary lull in our energy body. We hold on because we know in our hearts things will get better. Nothing stays the same. It cannot.
Perhaps a change of scenery wakes us, or maybe talk therapy or sometimes medication, or a combination of these. We can choose to self-medicate, but it doesn’t help much and can make us feel worse. We owe it to ourselves and anyone we care about to hang on and get help. It’s always just a phone call away. We can also learn to be proactive.
We finally begin surfing back up the trough slowly toward the peak. When we finally reach it, we ride it with exuberance and joy, wanting the feeling to last forever. It cannot. We must focus on the joy we feel throughout our body; our happiness in that very moment. We must remember this feeling. It keeps us centered.
It is this beautiful memory that carries us through the next trough. It will come. When we prepare ourselves for it, we can remember and choose to ride through it much more easily and spend less time there.
Like nature, we sometimes shine brightly and other times not so much. If every sunrise was spectacular every day, completely predictable, the joy in watching it would fade quickly.
Birds will continue to sing and wind still blows. Rain falls down and leaves grow out. Seasons change for a reason. Nature needs her rest to gather energy for the next growth spurt. We remember this and know it deep in our bones. We begin again with our soul slate wiped clean, ready for a new day. We learn and grow. We open up to life.
When I see a particularly beautiful sunrise, I feel washed in perfection. Most mornings the sun comes up without much color or depth. That’s what makes a spectacular sunrise all the more special. It is rare and unique, just like each of us.
If we try to keep a baby from walking or a tree from budding or a star from shining, how successful do you think we will be? Opening reminds us to allow the darkness of the trough and sit with it for a time, because after the darkness, the sun always rises again in the eastern sky.
It gets easier and easier to navigate all the different waves of our lives, up and down and up again. We begin to notice as we surf, the peaks and valleys become easier each time. We come to see life as magical and beautiful. This is where contentment lives.
We are all different people with varied histories traveling along the same roads in life. We meet new aquaintances and friends along the way, share the road for a while and veer off in a new direction.
When we care about someone and they begin taking a path that does not quite mesh with our value system, or vice versa, separation on some level naturally occurs.
We have a choice. Most of our differences fall into one of two categories. We can either learn to accept or at least leave room for openness and exchange of opinions and ideas. That’s where we grow.
Differences are what help us evolve as humans and come to a deeper understanding of each other. We form our own values from this place of understanding. Communication is a back and forth exchange of ideas.
What can happen too easily is we begin to shut down or turn away from each other. We might even slip down the icy slope and land in a muddy snowbank of intolerance. It’s a very dark place.
Communication can too easily break down entirely. I certainly am not the best communicator. I am working on improving that aspect of my personality. It can be challenging, but it is in our challenges where we find the deepest learning and growth.
Occasionally we find ourselves in an awkward position of either surrendering our own power to please another, or having to protect ourselves from further attempted control by severing all ties.
I’ve been on both sides of that fence and have learned that giving my power away is not a solution to anything. Ever. It creates deep resentment and anger, usually with both parties.
True resolution takes patience, effort and a willingness to meet somewhere in the middle to find common ground. This is where the deeper challenge comes in. Our truths are never the same.
Sometimes they’re so disconnected, it’s hard to find a starting point. We all interpret everything in the world differently, based on our life experiences and what we’re born with: the nature and nurture thing.
Miscommunication, including dodging an issue and avoiding confrontation are just a few of the obstacles we learn to maneuver through in the race toward understanding. Some people are just better runners than others. It’s easy to trip over the hurdles and crash land into the unforgiving gravel of separation.
I have been told by more than one person that I am difficult to live with. It’s true. I’m OK with that, but I am working on becoming a better me. I wouldn’t expect more than the same effort from anyone.
Isn’t that the point? Expecting someone else to change isn’t going to solve a thing for me. My focus needs to be on self-improvement, not other-improvement. Just think for a moment what our world would look like if we all shared this one habit for a day.
Traveling in different directions from others is not a bad thing. Sometimes we need to walk along the path alone, at least for a little while. It allows our innermost beliefs to emerge and light the way toward choosing the fork in the road that fits our own needs.
The fork we choose is our soul’s journey. It is on this journey where we can find the nature and reflection of our true selves. We bring that best self to our world to share and help create a level of better understanding and ideally, peace. Yes, I am a dreamer. It’s the fork I chose.
My blog is all about delving into the backstory of my poems. There is always a history behind the words that helps bring them to life. When You Look Up: Selection of Poems Vol. 1 will be published soon. In my free time I have written and rewritten my poems, covering a span of several years. Some of the poems are deep, some a little dark and some just for fun.
Writing is a process which sometimes easily morphs into a perfect complete piece and other times it just doesn’t seem to fit. I end up putting a poem aside for weeks, tweaking a few words here and there and repeating the process, many, many times.
Much like lather, rinse, repeat, poetry doesn’t feel right until the soul becomes squeaky clean again. A poem culminates in a great sense of satisfaction when the words flow perfectly through the pen, onto the page and off the tongue.
Like all things in our universe, words are energy. They contain a certain vibration. I became fascinated with energy and electrons and waves. In the 60s I read about Marie Curie and radioactivity. Since that time, I have learned from many wise writers.
Wayne Dyer shared with me how to, “Stop being offended.” Louise Hay informed me in her book, “You Can Heal Your Life.” I have learned from Robert Maurer how to take, “One Small Step.” I have learned from Byron Katie how to do, “The Work” of self-inquiry.
Mike Dooley showed me that, “Thoughts Become Things.” I have learned from Diane Zimberoff how to, “Break Free From the Victim Trap.” These are just a few of the most important messages in my life, all received through the written word. Words are energy.
In the 70s I read Carlos Castaneda and a book about crystal energy. In the 80s I learned how to meditate with Transcendental Meditation. In the 90s my world turned sideways. I learned that my choices would hold a potential for consequences beyond my limited understanding and reasoning.
Now I know if it were not for everything I have learned and done in my life, I would not be right here now, writing this. I would not be a published author. I do not wish to change a thing about my past. I’m happy to have traveled it and come away smiling.
In 2001 I learned that my country was no longer the safety net I had believed it was. Like most other Americans, I reeled in anguish for the lost souls in New York City.
In 2009 I attended an I Can Do It seminar in Tampa, Florida. Robert Holden took the stage. During his talk, he looked right at me when he said, “Your heart did not break. It was your ego.” My mouth dropped as the realization of truth took hold of me. I soon began to notice my writing journals taking a turn in a new direction: one of contentment and joy. I placed quotes on my mirror reminding me that I could do it.
In 2013 I became an Infinite Possibilities Trainer. I intended for many years, perhaps most of my life when I think back now, on becoming a writer. Now I am and I want to share what I have learned with others.
Poetry is ultimately for the reader, not the writer. Like art, many differing interpretations take place when you allow your mind the time necessary to read slowly, your body room to breathe in the words and your soul to ponder them deliberately. Reading poetry is like a slow dance: it must not be hurried, but instead savored through a certain rhythm that matches the beat of the music within the words.
Each blog post will cover the essence in each of my poems, in sequential order.
I enjoy sharing insights and ideas either on this public blog or in private email.