For You, My Dream Reader

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Poetry is the reason I started this blog, specifically to write posts about the backstory to my poems. Since I began writing poetry several years ago, after a deep dive into a black hole, each written word formed a solid step upward that brought me closer to sunlight and air. I found abundant life everywhere!

Through that trip to hell and back, I have become convinced that anyone can choose to walk a different path. The only requirement is desire. My journey into poetry has transformed my way of thinking, from why experiences happen, to understanding that each of us has the capacity to create a positive outcome of our own deepest dreams and wishes.

We are infinite beings of energy who have within us the power to change the world in a great way. When you really think about it, we humans have created our current reality. Our own realities are as varied as our personalities.

In walking the path, intimately observing nature, slowing down, and noticing simple things, I have discovered a whole new wonderful world. It has been there all along. My own shadow seemed to be the only thing blocking the spectacular view.

When You Look Up is not only the title of my poetry book, but it is a way of life for me now. Look up toward the trees and sky. This one action has the capacity to open your heart and soul to the beauty that is all around us, every second of the day.

I choose to look up. Come walk with me awhile. Let’s notice miracles together.

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‘Falling’

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Being a head over heels, hopeless romantic can have drawbacks. Always a sucker for romantic movies, a woman I know has watched them often throughout her life for as long as she can remember, even as a very small child. They mesmerize her. She doesn’t know why. They’re kind of silly, really.

Maybe it’s the on-camera chemistry or the close-up shot of a beautiful couple in a loving embrace. Kissing is her favorite. They seem so perfect together. Perhaps it’s the sexual tension and the playful flirting. Their humorous banter is fun and  entertaining.

Lovers in movies are very predictable. She wonders if that’s the draw. Happy endings are what she always looks for in movies and romantic movies usually have them. Every rule has an exception, though.

The movie, ‘Love Story’ to an impressionable and hormonal young teen had the perfect ending. A realistically devastating ending. Three times she spent her savings to see the movie and sat near the front with her closest friends, where she could be completely absorbed into the screen. She never cried so hard in her life. All three times.

She hoped nobody remembered that young girl bawling her eyes out not only in the movie theater, but outside on the sidewalk while waiting for a ride to pick her up. It was gut-wrenching. Sobbing so hard, gasping for her next breath.

She loved it. It released the brakes on the pent-up emotional roller coaster that was a rite of passage for every youngster. All kids went through it at some point.

Even though she knew what was coming in the movie, she liked to think about alternate endings. What if the woman in the movie had never gotten sick? Did love really mean never having to say you’re sorry? Could theirs be a love that lasted forever?

Falling in love turns your world sideways, in a good way. The endorphins run rampant across the synapses, brightening the world and everything in it. All of life is wonderful and beautiful. You feel like you could live like this forever.

‘Elf’ is my friend’s absolute favorite Christmas movie. The part where Buddy says, “I’m in love, I’m in love and I don’t care who knows it,” offers proof of the giddy feeling of falling completely in love.

Why do they call it ‘falling’ in love anyway? Why isn’t it flying in love or jumping in love or something more flashy? Falling seems like you have no control–oh, yeah…

Love and what it leads to, babies and (usually) long term relationships, takes commitment along with compromise from both partners. Equally. Commitment has many layers and is deeper than many of us realize. It is much more than being sexually faithful to a partner. It’s about becoming better together, encouraging each other along the way. Being there for the other.

Compromise can be difficult, especially when someone is used to getting their way. It sometimes becomes most difficult to be flexible as time moves forward. We change, usually not together nor in the same way. It’s about give and take, yin and yang. It’s about balancing each others needs and desires and supporting one’s partners’ dreams. Selflessly.

I am happy to have been in love during my lifetime. I look back joyfully on memories and forward to making better new ones. Falling. Head over heels in love. What could be better?

What do you think about falling? I’d like to hear from you. Thanks for reading.

‘Transitions’

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‘Transitions’ became the first of many poems I continue to write regarding the transfer of the soul from this world. For me, it is not about religion. It is not about science. It is about faith in the Universe. It is about the nature of things. It’s about energy.

Much has been written about this topic. Energy does not disappear, but evolves into another form. I believe this to be true of all living creatures, including humans, animals, and plants. I believe it to be true of all elements that make up our world.

Birth and death and everything in between are natural progressions of life. It is so interesting how happy we are when a baby is born and how sad we are when a loved one dies. This is natural.

Though inevitable as life itself, death in our culture carries a certain habit of fear of the unknown for the dying and an enormous feeling of loss and abandonment for those left behind. It challenges us no matter that our religious beliefs or faith-based spirituality prepares us for all of it. This is a deep disconnect in our beliefs and psyche. Not all cultures are so disconnected.

When my own parents passed, I knew in my heart they had a long and (mostly) happy life. They were elderly. I knew their time was coming and mentally prepared myself. I also know my mother was afraid. I felt her fear in her last hug. She did not want to let me go. This was three weeks before she transitioned.

Grief takes on many forms and is as individual as each of us. There is no right way to grieve. I became extremely ill right after mom died and was bedridden for two days with a fever and cough that would not quit.

Their deaths still hit me like a fist in the stomach. It was my longing for them that brought me grief. They had been in my life forever. I missed them deeply.

Elephants and other creatures show grief and loss. This has been well documented. I watched tearfully as a young doe grieved for her sister I had just shot during hunting season many years ago. I can still hear her bleating when I think about it. I felt like a horrible person for having killed her. I haven’t picked up a weapon since.

What I have learned in life is that grief is a necessary process. It takes the time it takes. We cry, feel lost and alone, cry some more, and eventually move forward. This is key to healing, but being stuck in grief is no way to live our lives. Our loved ones would never want us to remember and honor them in this way, though some of us just cannot move past it. Our lives become crippled by death.

‘Transitions’ was written for a coworker a few years ago who lost someone. I believe that the spirit never dies. I believe energy always transforms into something else. Our universe is made of energy in flux, always moving and changing. We are no different from the world around us. We are part of the endless cosmos.

When the time comes, I hope I will welcome it, but I might fight death. I really don’t know until I’m in the moment. I don’t feel afraid to die, but that does not mean I want to die. I intend to cross the veil in my sleep approximately two to three decades from now. Peacefully. I fully expect a smooth transition.

When I die, I know I will see my loved ones again. I’ve had dreams and visions of our reunion. All family, friends, and pets will be the welcoming committee, with the pets out front. They are the unconditional lovers. It will be a coming home party of the grandest kind.

Death? Eh, it happens, just like birth. I didn’t fret about coming into this world and I’m not going to fret about exiting from it. I’m going to embrace the possibility of change, of transitioning into something new. A rebirth of spirit. It’s the only way I know how to live.

What about you?  I’d really like to read about your thoughts and insights about transitioning. Thanks for reading.